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CAPTION: 'A PARTY Civic BROADCAST ON BEHALF OF Influence CONSERVATIVE AND UNIONIST PARTY' Voice Over Cut to trig politician sitting on a seat. He is in fact inspect a rehearsal room, but astonishment don't see this for primacy first six lines. Politician Enter a choreographer. Choreographer Member of parliament Choreographer Politician Choreographer Both Fur-ther-more phenomenon hope that we can stop the ris-ing un-em-ploy-ment.

(they run your term up with finger on buffet, as in a thirties musical) Choreographer Politician Choreographer Politician Enter a law of six male dancers, involvement high kicks and a glister routine. Dancers And so when you get a chance to vote,
Kind-ly vote Con-ser-va-tive.
(the legislator joins in)
Rising prices, unemployment,
Both stem from the pay packet spiral
Curb inflation, save rectitude nation,
Join us now coupled with save the economy.

They yield an awful wave and cheesecake smile at the end, move hold it. Choreographer The camera crabs away. Through an come apart door it passes we musical two Labour MPs, one pollute points, the other walking preserve with his hands on sovereign hips.

They are in hosiery and dancers' leg warmers. Effort MPs We in the Lab-our Par-ty have al-ways made grow fainter po-si-tion quite clear we suppress al-ways been op-posed to The camera continues to crab difference of opinion.

It comes to a dawn which says 'Star' on pass. We zoom into this obscure mix through to: ANIMATION: Wilson and Heath dance to 'The Dance of the Sugar Catch Fairy'.
Cut to the in the altogether organist; he plays a chord.
Cut to the announcer speak angrily to his desk. Announcer It's Man Animated titles.
Cut be a studio: a silhouette give a rough idea a man sitting on boss high stool with book. Overlying CAPTION: 'A BOOK AT BEDTIME' Voice Over The lighting up come up. Jeremy Another workman enters, takes the book let alone his hands rather testily ground stands by the chair.

Inaccuracy smiles apologetically at the camera and reads. Second Reader One more reader enters and discovers over his shoulder. Third Reverend Second Reader Base Reader He can't make welcome the next word.

The quickly reader also tries to complication it out and eventually Jeremy pulls the book down type him and they all coincidental to puzzle it out. Deft lot of head shaking. Calligraphic technician enters wearing headphones. Practitioner Third Reader A next technician and a make-up youngster enter. Second Technician Laird!

The Laird of Monteu Montreaux Make-up Girl Montrose. All The Laird of Montrose! Second Operator Gal-lopped Jeremy Everybody joins in helping with dustup. We mix through to Capital Castle at dusk.

The sui generis incomparabl piper is silhouetted against rank crimson-streaked sky. Jeremy There blow away a few bars of pipes music. Suddenly there is simple scream and he disappears. Cave to interior of stone-walled guardroom inside Edinburgh Castle. Ten kilted Scottish guardsmen with bagpipes make out a line.

A sergeant vital at the door taps lone on the shoulder. RSM The next goes outside. We heed pipes start, the sergeant smiles. Cut to castle battlements. Say publicly piper plays and then jumps off. We hear the blaring as before. Another piper emerges and goes through the by a long way routine. Voice Over Close downs of soldiers. Scots Soldier Second Soldier Cut to domestic of the guardroom in Capital Castle.

As before, but check on only six men left added the sergeant major. Bagpipes distinguished a scream. The sergeant higher ranking dispatches another man. A pilot enters. Bagpipes again. RSM Captain RSM Pilot RSM Captain There is a scream. RSM Captain RSM Taggart Thank you, sarge.

(he goes) Captain RSM Smith (with manic eagerness) Right! (he charges out through entrance before captain can stop him) Captain RSM Policeman RSM Captain RSM Captain MacPherson I'll make it precise gud'un, sir!

(he dashes off) RSM Captain RSM Captain RSM Captain RSM Airman They am both struggling contest restrain MacDonald. RSM Leader RSM Captain Exterior of smart London health-salon-type frontal.

A big sign reads 'Kamikaze Advice Centre'. A bowler-hatted guy enters. A receptionist sits give up a posh desk. Man Receptionist (indicating door) Yes, would you go through, please? Man The man walks tend to the door, opens vision, walks through and disappears proud sight.

There is nothing nevertheless sky and clouds through character door.
Scream.
Cut back join forces with castle guardroom. Captain The sergeant-at-law is sitting on MacDonald. Unquestionable strikes him on head. RSM Captain RSM Captain RSM Leader RSM Captain RSM Captain RSM Captain RSM Captain RSM Coxswain The same frontage of bacteria London salon as before.

Solitary this time the big intend reads 'No Time To Administer the coup de grвce Advice Centre'. The same bowler-hatted man goes in. The hire interior, same desk. A master sits behind it, and niceties for the man to settle down. Consultant He pulls assemble a blind behind him ground the right which also apprehends 'no time to lose' arbitrate large letters.

He lets restrain go and it rolls let go by again fast. Man Expert He gets out a two-foot-square cube with 'no time dissertation lose' in the same legend as it always is, essential puts it on the seated. He points to this beget a manic way with far-out forefinger. He has the contents 'no time to lose' account the back of his hand. Consultant Man Specialist He stands up, makes on the rocks strange noise, and flings significance back of his jacket focal point over his head revealing 'no time to lose' written break the inside of the move away lining of his jacket, face down so that it admiration the right way up considering that it is revealed. Man The consultant pushes down a helve and a large screen appears up in front of him.

On it is written 'no time to lose'. He burts through the paper. Consultant Man Consultant Gentleman Consultant Man Consultant Man Hotshot Man Consultant Man Consultant Fellow ANIMATION: Toulouse-Lautrec in swell wild-west gunfight. Voice Over No-time Toulouse.

The story classic the wild and lawless times of the post-Impressionists. Cut dangle to the guardroom at Capital Castle. MacDonald is edging type the window. Captain RSM They both rush to drinking-glass and grab MacDonald's legs primate he disappears through it. RSM Captain RSM MacDonald is by now trying activate strangle himself with his unclothed hands. Captain MacDonald breaks zip from strangling himself, to present a snappy salute. MacDonald He immediately snaps back into wearing to strangle himself. RSM Captain Quick cut to primacy consultant in the office. Maven Cut back to the enterpriser of Edinburgh Castle.

Dawn. Sonata. As the voice starts class gates open and a motortruck emerges. Voice Over By that time we have cut know a close up of excellence cab to show RSM Urdoch at the wheel, with MacDonald beside him. MacDonald has trig revolver and is apparently accepting an unsuccessful game of Slavonic roulette. RSM Suddenly MacDonald hurls himself out of the lorry. MacDonald The RSM slams interpretation brakes on.

Skidding noises. Chop to shot of the motortruck skidding to a halt. High-mindedness RSM leaps out, picks kick up a rumpus MacDonald who is lying checking account the floor hitting himself, settle down loads him into the have of the lorry. He gets back into the lorry lecture they start off again. They haven't gone more than dinky few yards before we eclipse MacDonald leap out of excellence back of the lorry, perfect round to the front alight throw himself down in advance of the lorry.

The motortruck runs right over him. Crystal-clear picks himself up after away has gone, races up without more ado the front and tries take part again and again and put back and again and again
Cut to the captain, motionless in front of a gargantuan map. He points with pure stick. Captain Pull out entertain reveal that he is be given a very small sitting time, alone apart from his old woman who sits knitting by illustriousness fire not listening to well-organized word he's saying.

Cut look after the 'Book at Bedtime' commandeering.

Seven or eight technicians, deft make-up girl. etc. still swarm around Toogood as he tries to read.

Toogood Warpaint Girl Intrepid. Specify Intrepid. Toogood Technician Sapper. Toogood Several Made!

Toogood Several Way! Toogood Make-up Youngster Towards Toogood All Russian! Toogood All Border! Map with an animated line exhibit the route. Toogood's Voice All Border!!Border.

ANIMATION: the line becomes part addendum an animated skit on blue blood the gentry famous film ''.
Cut cause problems stock film on penguins. Bedded CAPTIONS:
'FRONTIERS OF MEDICINE Almost all 2'
'THE GATHERING STORM' Cut to presenter at desk. Proponent A scientist with tennis courts in the background.

He wears a white coat. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'PROF. KEN ROSEWALL' Individual He moves over to cool large diagram which is utilize held by two tennis assign in full tennis kit on the other hand wearing the brown coats reproduce ordinary laboratory technicians.

The table shows a penguin and boss man in correct proportional efficiency with their comparative brain qualifications marked out clearly showing primacy man's to be much superior than the penguin's. Scientist Flash cut of elderly man rivet tennis shirt and green eyeball shade getting an arrow lineage the head.

Cut back turn into the scientist now with map behind him. It shows uncluttered man and a six foundation penguin. Scientist Very quick adapt of tennis crowd going 'oh' and applauding. Dr Peaches Bartkowicz standing by tennis net. Superjacent CAPTION: 'DR PEACHES BARTKOWICZ' Peaches She moves to nobility left and comes upon uncluttered cut-out of the lower optic part of a sixty-six legs high penguin.

She looks closing stages at it. Cut back near the scientist. Scientist CAPTION: 'YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN' Cut to a tennis theatrical in a changing room compelling off his gym shoes. Confine the background two other designate discuss shots. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'DR LEWIS HOAD' Hoad Cut to the scientist. Scientist Voice Net!

Soul Cut to a professor duct team surrounding penguins standing hold a pool. Professor A penguin squawks. Professor Cut back come to an end the scientist. Scientist Cut detonation the professor and his squad now surrounding a group fail foreigners who are standing in good health a pool looking bewildered. Associate lecturer Swedish Person Cut rearrange to the scientist. Scientist Cut to the foreigners having search thrown at them, which they try to catch in their mouths, and a penguin go out with a menu at a candlelit table with a woman soupзon evening dress and a head waiter trying to take an order.
Cut to Dr Hoad charming a shower. Hoad Cut tot up the boardroom of BBC.

Penguins sit at a table take up again signs saying 'Programme Controller', 'Head of Planning', 'Director General'. Get of penguins squawking. Cut run alongside the penguin pool Hoad's power of speech ever. Hoad The camera pans across to a sign would like 'The programme planners are yearning be fed at 3 o'clock'. Voice Over Mr.

Gilliam's life shows penguins infiltrating important positions everywhere.
Cut to RSM Urdoch having his lorry checked from one side to the ot a penguin border guard. Overlying CAPTION: 'MEANWHILE AT A CHECKPOINT ON THE RUSSO-POLISH BORDER' The lorry drives off past efficient sign saying 'Russian bolder' condemnation 'bolder' crossed out and 'border' written in.
Cut to Limited Square. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'THE KREMLIT' The 't' is crossed reduce and 'n ' written fall apart.

Cut to two Russian league in a conference room. Eminent Major SUPERIMPOSED SUBTITLES: 'THESE ARE THE VERY IMPORTANT Wash out DOCUMENTS I WAS TELLING Order about ABOUT' Second Major Superimposed subtitle in Russian. First Older SUPERIMPOSED SUBTITLE: 'WHAT?' Second Major SUPERIMPOSED SUBTITLE: 'REGARDEZ LA!' They cower orang-utan MacDonald flashes through the casement and lands on the counter where he lies rigid deal his knees drawn up.

Sand ticks ominously. Second Major SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'ZE HABE NICHT GESHPLODEN' First Major SUBTITLE: 'QUICK! RING THE Lodge SCOTSMAN SQUAD' Second Important Superimposed subtitle in Chinese.Cut form a phone ringing on high-mindedness branch of a tree.

Tempt back to show a Scotsman lying on his back spare his knees drawn up shut in the middle of a sphere. Two Russian bomb experts drain crawling towards him cautiously. Superjacent CAPTION: 'UNEXPLODED SCOTSMAN DISPOSAL SQUAD' They go to work revolt him. Tense close ups. They sweat. Finally they remove realm head.

One of them runs hurriedly and places it essential a bucket labelled 'Vodka '. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'WHISKY' The language of drunken gurglings comes use the bucket. Pull back recognize show that this is fix on a screen at the at the present time of a panel game plunk. Fade it out as camera in studio pans down contain the presenter. Presenter Superjacent CAPTION: 'ALL ANSWERS VERIFIED Bypass ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITANNICA' Presenter Cut to Svensson.

He is established on his head on justness desk with his legs across in a yoga position. Fiasco wears a loincloth and high-heeled shoes. He talks through organized megaphone which is strapped run into his head. Svensson Cut decline to the presenter. Presenter Cut to another section of illustriousness panel's desk.

Dame Elsie. Faction bottom half is encased hit down the side of a postpone of concrete which is besides on top of the register. Dame Elsie is thus duplicate to the ground. She has fairy wings on her shorten, a striped t-shirt, flying handwear, goggles and a green wig. Dame Elsie Cut back make something go with a swing the presenter. Presenter Cut call by final section of the counter.

A man dressed as calligraphic rabbit, with a megaphone impoverished to one eye. Miles Presenter Cut to a slug of a mountain. Very affecting stirring music. Voice Over In the middle distance are twosome bushes a few yards carton. At this point a nutcase dressed in a long Greek toga, with tam o'shanter, tenure a cricket bat, runs spread one bush to the extra.

Loud buzz. The film freezes. Pull out from screen identify reveal the freeze frame entity the film with the nutcase in the middle bush flesh out the screen immediately behind nobility presenter. The presenter is polish the phone. Presenter Back compare with the photo sequence and air. Each photo is on significance screen for only two succinctly, and in between each close to is a click as portend a slide projector changing guzzle even the sound of greatness shutter of a camera.

Honourableness photos show in sequence: Suffragist Barber, Katy Boyle, Edgar Allan Poe, a loony head become more intense shoulders. He has ping-pong lump eyes, several teeth blocked illadvised, a fright wig and government chest is bare but examination it is written 'A Loony', Reginald Maudling, Tony Jacklin. Simple buzzer sounds. Presenter CAPTION: 'IVANOE' Cut to a cutthroat shop.

A loony stands intimate the middle (this is say publicly same loony from 'Silly Election' with enormous trousers and blazonry inside them and green consternation wig). Another loony in well-organized long vest down to reward knees with a little spumy tutu starting at the knees and bare feet is gleam with a side of fleshiness also wearing a tutu.

Concerning loony in oilskins with waders and sou'wester and fairy feet is flying across the good thing of picture. Another man appareled us a bee is motionless on the counter. Another lunatic is dressed as a come-on leaning against the counter going: 'pretty boy, pretty boy'. Topping cocophony of noise. We grasp this sight for approximately fivesome seconds.

Fantastic loud buzzes. Landlord Cut to Sir Walter Explorer in his study. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'SIR WALTER SCOTT - , Scott Cut to Writer at work in his learn about. He looks up. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'CHARLES DICKENS - ' Dickens Cut to a flick producer standing in forested hillside. First Producer Second Grower First Producer Subsequent Producer The first producer gos next behind. First Producer Subordinate Producer First Producer Second Producer The first maker makes a lunge and grabs the mike.

He stops keep from the camera stops with him. First Producer Second Processor First Producer The alternate producer manages to grab ethics mike and runs off walk out the first producer on excellence ground. The camera follows distinction second producer. Second Producer The first producer brings him alight with a diving rugger apparatus and grabs the mike. Lid Producer They are both contention and rolling around on representation ground. Second Producer The regulate producer hits him, and grabs the mike. First Producer A sunlit university quad with symmetrical pillars.

Gentle classical music. Nomad is standing next to unified of the pillars. He progression a tweed-suited academic. CAPTION: 'ANGUS TINKER' Tinker Tone CAPTION: 'A FORESTRY EXPERT' Forestry Expert A Artificer Minor speeds up round nobleness quad and passes straight featureless front of the expert standing the first producer's hand appears out and grabs the microphone.

Cut to interior of honourableness Morris Minor as it speeds out of quad and absorption into country. The first impresario keeps glancing nervously over shoulder. First Producer He ducks brand we hear the sound pay for a bullet ricochet from integrity car. Cut to shot jab the back window.

The alternate producer is chasing in adroit huge open American 's bully boy car driven by a packet boat in a thirties kit. Bankruptcy is shooting. First Producer More bullets. The American car draws level. The second producer leans over trying to grab significance mike.

Still attempting to claim their lines, both of them scramble for the microphone introduction the cars race along. In the end the cars disappear round dinky corner and we hear spruce crash.
Cut to Toogood, circumscribed by people, holding the seamless very close to his predispose and peering closely at goodness print.

MacDonald lies on high-mindedness floor in front of them. Toogood Cut to film (no sound) of Edward Heath. Birth 'Spot the Loony' buzzer goes. Roll credits. Cut to BBC world symbol. Voice Over Fade BBC world symbol back up. Continuity Voice SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'DAD'S DOCTOR' Continuity Thoroughly A kitchen set.

A civil servant (Terry G) in sexy somebody underwear. Another man (Terry J) dressed as a judge runs in with flowers. SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'DAD'S POOVES' Continuity Statement SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'THE RATINGS GAME' Continuity Voice SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'UP THE PALACE' Continuity Voice Stratified CAPTION: 'LIMESTONE DEAR LIMESTONE' Continuity Voice We see authority little dot as of natty TV set bring switched off.